Monday Muses

What comes to mind when I envision my childhood...

"An Endless Book"

Never too many toys,

never too much noise,

always a fuss, 

cause there's never enough`

bubble baths,

homework is math,

playing in the dirt,

getting hurt,

mommy's love

fixes all,

when I fall

Not wanting to get clean,

Jack is so mean

stuffed animals,

little snacks,

kissies and hugs

Pretzels and Cookies were a favorite,

such a supply,

I didn't have to savor it

"Oh! Have you grown!"

Have I known, 

I would have treasured

the moments like those

"Mommy I want to go to bed"

she was too busy 

"Mommy can you tuck me in?"

she was on the phone

"Please?"

I toddled away 

and tucked myself in

we gave my turtle away,

bye bye 

we gave my guinea pig to the big guy in the sky,

goodbye 

"Jack hit me first!"

"It's not fair!" 

"I don't care"

"Let's play"

This is what I said.

Trips to the park,

laying in the grass,

pretending,

dreaming,

wishing

I'm a princess today

throw all my cares away,

just me and mommy

and we're here to stay,

singing songs,

chasing butterflies,

tea parties,

playing along,

play dates,

school,

coloring,

giggles,

crayons,

bows,

dresses,

trips to Grandma's,

it's all over now

take a bow

I cry,

I sigh,

I fly,

I fall,

I laugh,

I sing,

I dream,

But I know that you'll always be there for me

// my child hood felt like it would never end //

I am currently reading, "Thirteen Reasons Why" by Jay Asher. This novel is part of the banning books list and is ranked a #1 New York Times best seller and internationally. The main character in this book is Clay Jensen, a boy who, like no other, one day is received a shoe box full of tapes. In the package, there are a total of seven cassette tapes and thirteen stories. On the first tape, Hannah tells her listeners that she holds each of them responsible in some way for her death, and that the tapes will explain why. After listening, each person must give the tapes to the next person on the list. She says that if anybody fails to pass them along, a copy of the recordings will be made public. The tapes also come with a map that listeners are meant to physically follow as they listen to her story.What Clay Jensen finds out changes his life for ever.

A theme in this book is that I found is how do these tapes change Clay Jensen mentally? In the beginning of the book, when Clay receives the box with the tapes inside, he's unsure and inquiring to find out what secrets lay in these tapes. Clay only knew what happened from his perspective and other rumors, but when the real truth hits him,he realizes it was a whole other world for Hannah. Hannah Baker had to deal with all of the whispers and fibs that were being told. The narrative moves back and forth between Hannah's and Clay's thoughts and actions. This is hard to portray in a short summary, Clay's thoughts are always mixed in with Hannah's stories. While identifying all of this information and processing it, their are still missing pieces and questions to be answered. "And what about me? What did I do? How will Hannah say that I scarred her? Because I have no idea. And after people hearing about it, what are they going to think when they see me? Some of them, at least two of them, already know why I'm on here. Do they see me differently now? No. They can't. Because my name doesn't belong with theirs. I should not be on this list I'm sure of it. I did nothing wrong!" This quote shows that Clay keeps telling himself he did nothing at fault, even though deep down inside of him, he knows he has something do with her death.

In the middle of the book, I begin to realize that there is another big theme, guilt and blame. The tapes are a huge guilt trip for Hannah. She wants her listeners to feel bad about the way they treated her and to treat people better in the future. But as much as she makes other people feel guilty, she also feels plenty of it herself. She feels responsible for Jessica's rape, and for the boy who's killed after Jenny runs down a stop sign. She doesn't trust herself to do the right thing any more than she trusts the people on the tapes. Her guilt over her role in these crimes seems to drive Hannah over the edge. Another important theme I discovered is respect and partially reputation. This theme points to a controversial issue in the novel: Hannah, a clear victim of rumors, leaves behind even more rumors in her tapes. The book is filtered through Clay and Hannah, both unreliable narrators. "I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why. 'What? No!'..".Hannah's story begins with this harsh accusation. It really does a number on Clay, who is sure he did nothing about which he should feel guilty. 

In conclusion, I found their to be various themes in this book and I can't wait to complete this book and find out more! I really adore reading this novel, because I can't put it down. All the themes collected in this book were death, guilt, blame, choices and love. A question I wonder is if the tapes will stay between the twelve people or will they spill...

SPOLIER ALERT


I just completed the fascinating book called, "Stolen Girl" by April Henry. The main character's name is Cheyenne Wilder who is kidnapped in a car parking lot in a mall. Her mother insisted on Cheyenne going into the mall with her to pick up the prescription for Cheyenne, but she refused and prefered to stay in the back of the car and lay down under a blanket because she was so cold. Cheyenne asked her mother to leave the keys in ignition in case she wanted to turn the heat on, and so her mother did. As, she was laying down in the back seat, she heard the car door open, someone come in, and then heard the door close. The sound and the movement of the person coming in wasn't her mother, it was as if the person were in a rush. Then she realized it really wasn't her mother! SHE WAS BEING KIDNAPPED. As the car began to move she screamed, "Who are you?!" the tires screeched and the car came to a halt and the person screamed too. Apparently the "kidnapper" didn't know there was a sixteen year old girl laying in the back seat! Was he going to release her? No he wasn't going to because he thought it was too late, the girl already saw his face and knows who he is and turn him into the cops. Little did he know, Cheyenne Wilder was blind.

In the beginning of the book, there are various difficuluties/problems that the characters deal with mentally and physically. For example, the main character, Cheyenne has a humungous problem because she's blind and that makes everything ten times harder for her. Cheyenne asked him to let her go but he knew she would run and go tell the policemen and officers. Another difficulty is that the "kidnapper" doesn't know Cheyenne's blind. "Please, please, just let me go, I won't tell anyone!" Cheyenne pleaded. "I'm sorry, but do you really think I believe that? By the end of the day, my description would be handed out to every radio station in town." the anonymous man said. This quote from the book shows that he must be really stubborn to not notice that she's blind and has a walking stick right next to her. My first impressions of this man were that he was a doltish man, but  my impressions changed, because i realized that he did have some good in him.

In the middle of the book, there were multiple problems/difficulties.For instance, Cheyenne never got her medication and perscription and she was severly sick. If her medicine doesn't get delivered as soon as possible into her system she could possibly die. When Griffin's (the kidnapper) father sees that he kidnapped a child he is livid, but when Cheyenne's famous father offers a reward, he is attentive. Griffin promised Cheyenne he'd let her go, but she now knows his name. Griffin knows this was the biggest mistake of his life and wants to let her go but his father disagree's and wants the money. Cheyenne tried to escape twice but she didn't go far because she couldn't see where she was going. My impressions of Griffin alternated again because he actually wanted to help Cheyenne.

In the end of the book, Griffin finally makes a run with Cheyenne in the freezing cold, he ends up twisting his ankle and not being able to guide Cheyenne to save her so she must continue herself. Cheyenne returns safely home without Griffin getting in trouble and arrested because Cheyenne made up a story. Cheyenne made up a  story because she knew that griffin wasn't a bad person and he helped her escape from his father. A difficultly in the end was if Cheyenne should turn in Griffin or not, andshe didn't. Her mother and father were ecstatic to see Cheyenne.

 Years later Griffin calls Cheyenne... What does he say? Where is he? How's Cheyenne? Well, you must read it to find out!!!

Summer Reading Essay

I recently finished reading a true and fascinating story called, "The Lost Boy" by Dave Pelzer. This is the second book of "A Child Called It". David is the main character who runs away from his alcoholic and physically abusive mother. As the story evolves he is placed in an orphanage temporarily then placed in a foster home. Each foster home has it's own history and secrets behind it. With one foster parent David finally feels like a child with a mother who loves and cares for him; unfortunately problems start to arise and David must switch to another home. Throughout the book he is placed in numerous foster homes. Through his travels from each foster home, old torn clothes in a ripped paper bag are his only belongings. His world consists of pure isolation and fear. He has never had a place to call home. Prior to being placed in foster care his father and brothers had ignored the abuse he withstood.

My first impression of David was of a sweet and innocent boy whose inhuman treatment is incomprehensible. Throughout the book I am uncertain as to whether he will live or die. His will to live surpasses all relevant matters. In the book it says, "I receive beatings or play another one of mothers 'games' perform afternoon chores. Then, and only if have completed all of my chores on time and I have not committed any 'crimes' I may be fed a morsel of food." This quote from the book shows a glimmer of who David is, does he cry? No because he refuses to be mentally weak.

In the middle of the story my initial impressions altered. David transposed from being admirable and innocent to someone who constructs dilemma. One example is when David says, "The smell of papers burning filled the hallway. I broke into a run as I followed the smoke... I scooped up pebbles of gravel and threw them into the fire. John was my friend I had to help him." This quote shows that David would assist his "friend" who started the fire in the school, with the intentions of burning it down. David was part of the original plan to burn down the classroom. Secondly, my thoughts were leading to believe he was a bad boy.The first time I formed this opinion he steals food even though there is food at home. As the story unfolds, he befriends kids who take dangerous risks. In one instance he steals a big toy from a store to impress the kids but his "plan" collapses. As David is sneaking out of the store with the toy under his arm, he is caught by the manager and the police are brought into the picture. 

At the end of the book David deviates once again but this time in a positive way. In the beginning he is a troublesome child who is neglected. He is taught to understand that being affiliated with children who steal will never work in his best interests and realizes his foster family's love for him is the strength he's always needed.